Poly stories: NRE Realms
Yes, youâve met someone new. Have you been reached by a âheady rush of escalating emotional connection and hot juiciness?â Coined by Zhahai Stewart in the 1980s, ânew relationship energyâ has seeped into love society and the world of ethical non-monogamy. Youâve heard it coming for your friend with a new crush every catch-up, but it may come for you, too. That stranger turned object of desire, appearing only in a cloud of pink, and every other thought? As it leaves you feeling unsteady without your next hit, this new player may leave your existing partner(s) feeling a certain way, too.
Sweet, sugary, and disruptive - such can be the nature of NRE. Feel-good hormones make every interaction rewarding. A six-month attachment phase begins. Behaviour may mirror that of this idealised person. Repeated urges to be close to them may overshadow longstanding connections with others. They may recognise this change in you from before, but donât experience it first-hand. Compersion (happiness for you) turns sour as dates become deprioritised.
Is it all bad? No. In this edition of Poly Stories, weâll find out how to make sure thereâs enough romance to go around for all people involved, how to redirect commitment impulses to sustainable intentionality - whilst maintaining freedom to explore newness, and how to stay centered in your own identity when othersâ modes of being are so exciting.
Allow for play and master your way around NRE. Riding the wave, with skill, may just be the ENM foundation you didnât know you needed.